


caring, and other risky ideas

by zach_stone



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Past Character Death, Post-Eleventh Hour, Soooort of?, Taako has trouble dealing with his Feelings, kinda??? im bad at tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 12:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8489236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zach_stone/pseuds/zach_stone
Summary: Saving everyone in Refuge sure was a nice change of pace from the usual everyone-dies-usually-horribly trend. But all the goofs in the world can't make you forget your previous fuckups. Taako dwells on the past, and the boys attempt to visit some old friends. (Sometime after Ep. 50 but before the new arc starts.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> i tried to make this mostly canon compliant but consider this an AU where taako told the boyz about him and kravitz because u can't take that away from me, justin mcelroy. how dare you. 
> 
> idk if this is where i wanted it to be but i needed a break from writing my nanowrimo story so i decided to finish this??? enjoy

For days after they’d left Refuge, Taako found himself dwelling on the past. He was more aloof than usual, hardly talking during meals and spending as much time as he could alone in his room, trying to meditate but unable to clear his mind. He’d done a good enough job of repressing the hell out of the memory of his last Sizzle It Up show, had done  _ that  _ for years. But it wasn’t just that — it was all those  _ other  _ memories the cup had sped past, all the other reclaimer missions he and the boys had gone on. There was something about saving everyone in Refuge, about seeing what it was like when everyone came out the other side of one of their adventures alive, that made the memories of everyone they  _ hadn’t  _ saved feel like a knife wrenched in his gut. How many lives had they destroyed? How long until it was one of them that kicked it? The thought made Taako’s insides churn.

“D’you think we should’ve taken the cup’s offer?” Magnus said out of the blue one evening when the three of them were lounging in the common area of their dorm. Merle sat up a little straighter and fixed Magnus with a stare, and Taako, who was laying belly-first on the floor and looking out the glass at the world below, said nothing. 

“Hell no,” Merle said. “We’d have erased our whole timeline. You said it yourself, think of all the people we wouldn’t be around to save.”

“Yeah, sure,” Taako muttered, still not looking up. “I bet Gundren and Noelle and Sloane and Hurley all really appreciate our heroism.” 

“Hey, we all agreed that we did everything we could for Gundren, okay?” Merle snapped. “There’s bound to be casualties in a job like this, kid. One day when you’re older —”

“Oh, give it a rest,” Taako interrupted, rolling over to scowl at the ceiling.

“Hurley and Sloane didn’t blame us for what happened to them,” Magnus said after a moment. “And hey, you’re basically dating the Grim Reaper, right? I bet you could just like, ask him to talk to their spirits for you if you really wanna know how they feel.”

Taako snorted. “Somehow I don’t think that’s allowed, and Krav is a fucking stickler for the rules.” He paused, a thought occurring to him. “And… I’m not sure they’d even be in the astral plane? I don’t think they actually died when they turned into the tree.” 

“Well shit,” Magnus said. “In that case, we could go talk to them ourselves.” 

“Would the Director be cool with us just waltzing back into Goldcliff?” Merle asked.

“Only one way to find out,” Magnus said, a slow grin spreading across his face. Merle grinned back. Taako groaned. 

 

The three of them stared up at the cherry tree, an uncomfortable lump forming in Taako’s throat for reasons he couldn’t quite put words to. “Well,” he said, and didn’t continue.

“Hail and well met?” Magnus said, uncertainty in his voice. The tree didn’t respond. It was just a tree. A beautiful one, pink petals scattered at the base, but still just a tree.

“Merle? You’ve got that whole plant thing going on, can you get them to talk?” Taako asked. 

“Just don’t talk sexy to this tree,” Magnus added quickly.

“Gods,  _ please  _ do not.”

Merle rolled his eyes. “Oh, gimme a break. My sexy plant talk saved our asses plenty of times, thank you very much.” He stepped forward and tentatively patted the tree’s trunk with his soulwood arm. “Hey there, ladies. It’s us. Just came to say hello.” A beat of silence. “I gotta be honest, boys, I’m not getting anything here.”

“Maybe they’re… sleeping,” Magnus said. He didn’t sound very confident. Taako’s shoulders slumped. 

Merle came back over to join the two of them. “Y’know, I think they might just be… beyond human. They’re one with the tree now.” He addressed the tree again. “You’re together, and that’s what matters.”

Taako stared at the rough bark, picturing Hurley cradled in Sloane’s arms in the moment before the gaia sash turned them into the tree. He tried to imagine what it must be like for them, to be intertwined for the rest of this magical tree’s life. 

“You okay?” Magnus said softly, placing a hand on the elf’s shoulder. Taako turned, looking up at his friend, and Magnus smiled hopefully. “Wanna… taako-bout it?” 

Taako gave him a withering look. “Good one, Mag, never heard that goof before,” he deadpanned. When Magnus continued to stare at him earnestly, Taako sighed and fixed his gaze firmly on the twist of roots closest to them. “Just can’t imagine what it’s like. I mean,” he said, laughing with an edge of hysteria, “who’d wanna be with someone  _ forever _ ?” 

Magnus looked pained, and Taako’s nose scrunched as he realized his misstep. He didn’t know the specifics of Magnus’s past, but he’d pieced enough together to know that he really needed to stop running his mouth about that shit. He was pretty sure that Magnus would tell him the whole story if he asked, would maybe even appreciate the chance to talk about it. But Taako didn’t know how to handle trauma outside of self-deprecating jokes, and even he knew goofs about your friend’s dead wife were out of the question. 

Still, he couldn’t seem to stop himself from turning to Merle with a forced smile as he said, “Merle, you’re a single pringle too, you feel me. Am I right, or am I right?” 

Merle was giving him an uncharacteristically stern look. It melted into something more pitying, and Taako wasn’t sure which one he hated more. The dwarf tugged on Magnus’s sleeve. “C’mon. Let’s go grab a drink or something and head back to base, huh?”

“...yeah,” Magnus said, still looking a whole lot like a kicked puppy. He glanced at Taako. “You coming?”

“Uh… you know what, you go on,” Taako said. “I’ll just catch up with you dudes later.”

“Taako, come on,” Merle said.

“I’m good out here,” Taako said, and he couldn’t hide the edge in his voice. After another moment of hesitation, Merle shrugged and led Magnus away. Taako watched them go, a hot, gross feeling pooling in his stomach. He felt like throwing up.

From behind him there was a familiar tearing sound, and when he turned around Kravitz was standing there, handsome as ever. “Since when are you a ‘single pringle’?” the reaper asked delicately.

Taako rolled his eyes. “Don’t you start,” he groused. “Were you spying on me?”

Kravitz pulled out his stone of far speech and wiggled it slightly. “You always forget to turn yours off. I hear things.” 

“Oh.” He crossed his arms. “Is that why you’re here? To remind me to put you on mute?”

“No. I wanted to make sure you were alright. You sounded upset.” 

“Well, I’m juuuust fine, my dude. All good here in Taakos-ville. Thanks for checkin’ in.” 

Kravitz didn’t looked convinced for a second. “What’s wrong?” he asked. He sounded so genuinely concerned, it made Taako feel like throwing up again. 

“Don’t do that,” he said quietly.

“Do what?”

“What you’re doing. I don’t… it’s not… my  _ thing _ ,” Taako said slowly. “I don’t do touchy-feely, okay? Not really in my wheelhouse of fun interpersonal skills.”

Kravitz raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. Whatever you want.” He stepped closer so he was standing shoulder to shoulder with the elf, and both of them surveyed the tree in silence for a bit. “It’s lovely,” Kravitz said finally.

“Yeah,” Taako said, hating the way his voice caught in his throat. 

“You wish you could’ve saved them,” Kravitz said. It wasn’t a question.

“Well  _ duh _ ,” Taako said. He ran a hand down his face. “I mean, supposedly they’re both stuck in there forever, right?” He didn’t wait for confirmation before barrelling on. “How the fuck do they  _ do  _ that? How do you just decide to spend forever with someone? Weren’t they scared they’d end up hating each other, or that one of them would change their mind and want to leave, or —” He cut himself off, realizing he was sort of shouting, and he wasn’t exactly talking about Sloane and Hurley anymore. The tips of his ears went bright red, and he could feel Kravitz’s gaze heavy on him. 

“I think when you truly love someone, you’re willing to take the risk,” Kravitz said thoughtfully. “I would think you’d know something about that, Taako.” 

Taako turned to look up at him, meeting the reaper’s stoic expression with incredulity. “What are you  _ talking  _ about, my dude?” Something clicked in his head, and he held up a stern finger in Kravitz's face. “You better not be talking about you, buster, because we’ve been dating for like two weeks and it is way too early for those kind of confessions.”

Kravitz chuckled, gently moving Taako’s finger away and keeping his hand wrapped around the elf’s. “Actually, I was talking about your friends, the… please don’t make me say that horrible name you made up.” 

Taako raised an eyebrow. “Tres Horny Boys?” he offered. 

Kravitz wrinkled his nose. “Yes. They care about you, Taako. They’re your family. It’s obvious none of you is planning on abandoning each other any time soon.” 

Huh. Now there was something he hadn’t really thought about. Sure, Taako had acknowledged to himself a long time ago that he was willing to die to save Magnus or Merle, and yeah, he definitely wasn’t planning on walking out on them… “I guess that’s true,” he said, surprise coloring his tone. 

Kravitz squeezed his hand once more before letting go. “I’ll give you some space,” he said. He stepped back, and the rift opened up again. “Oh, and for what it’s worth,” he added, “I’m not planning on abandoning you, either.”

Taako smiled faintly, watching Kravitz step into the rift and disappear. 

 

When Magnus and Merle returned to collect Taako, they found him sitting at the base of the tree, back against the trunk. He felt calmer than he’d been in days, and he gave the other two a surprisingly pleasant smile when they showed up.

“Hey,” Merle said. “You ready to go?”

“Yup. Let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Taako got to his feet. 

“Did they ever say anything?” Magnus asked. 

Taako shook his head. “Not this time ‘round.” He patted Magnus’s arm idly as he passed, hoping that the brief touch conveyed enough of an apology for acting like a douche canoe earlier. Magnus punched him affectionately in the shoulder, and Taako winced. All was forgiven. 

As they started to walk away, Taako heard a familiar woman’s voice in his head.  _ Hey, Taako. We’re okay, you know? Don’t beat yourself up over what happened. _

He startled, whipping around to look at the tree. The other two didn’t seem to have heard anything, though now they were looking at him curiously. This time he heard Sloane’s voice.

_ We’re grateful for everything you three did. Don’t worry about losing them, either. I think you’re in good hands. _

“Taako?” Magnus said, shaking him out of his daze. He was just staring at the tree, and Magnus looked from it to the elf a few times. “What is it? Are you okay?”

Taako tore his gaze away and met the concerned faces of his companions. His friends? No, scratch that — his  _ family _ . That’s what they were now, right? “You know, I think I am,” he said. Magnus and Merle exchanged bemused looks. When they got back to base, Taako would probably tell them what had happened, but for now, he just led the way and hoped tree-Sloane-Hurley could read minds when he thought,  _ Thanks.  _

**Author's Note:**

> lets be friends i need more taz buddies
> 
> twitter @queensuperjelly  
> tumblr @joshuawashinton


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